I always find it weird when someone tells me they find me intimidating. For a lot of my life, I felt insecure, and lacked self-confidence. Sure, there were certain areas of my life I did feel confident – my gymnastics talent, my academic grades – but when it came to social interactions and relationships, even my clairvoyant abilities, I did not have much confidence at all.
In my teens and early twenties, I had coping mechanisms where I’d be loud, or obnoxious even. As a short woman, I was often intimidated of men much larger than me, especially parents of my athletes who would try to push at me their way of doing things. I had confidence in my ability to do the job, but lacked the confidence to convey this to other people in a way that instilled confidence in me. Seems confusing? Try living that way!
It took me a long time to work through the layers of my life to gain confidence in my abilities. I’d often tell myself that I was good at certain things and not others, therefore not owning that I could do – and was talented at – a lot of areas in my life. I always downplayed my abilities, often lifting up others instead. For a long time, I told myself that the only thing I was good at was coaching – but my award-winning author status, voice acting resume, Qigong and Bagua instructorship, not to mention motherhood, tells me a different story, and it does to others too.
A lot of things come naturally to me, and often when I want to do something, I simply learn and find a way to do it. It never occurs to me that other people don’t do the same thing. Self-esteem is such a tricky thing – you never want to seem in your ego while owning your talents, and yet feeling confident in your abilities and conveying those to others is important for us to feel good about ourselves. I had to learn how to stop lifting up others in place of myself at times.
The more confident you become, the more directly you communicate with others. Passive-aggressive communication happens due to people not wanting to seem aggressive when they communicate their wants, need, and desires. Direct communication also appears aggressive to others who may feel intimidated by your knowledge or talent.
Intimidation can come in many forms. In the case of being a small woman, I’ve had my fair share of men try to intimidate me with their size and loud vocal usage. It was hard not to feel attacked and/or the need to defend myself. I rarely feel this way anymore, but on occasion, I stand up for myself when the need arises. I also feel confident due to martial arts to physically defend myself if necessary; a skill I enjoy passing on through Baguazhang training.
People can also feel intimidated when they perceive themselves lacking in some way, whether it’s lack of knowledge, confidence in someone else’s abilities over their own, etc. Whenever I feel intimidated by someone, I always ask myself why. It’s not their business to make me feel better by not expressing themselves. It’s my duty to myself to discover why I feel lacking in some way. These days it doesn’t happen often because I feel much more confident in myself, and when I don’t know something, I search for answers and learn how to do the things I want to do in my life. I also choose to work with others in order to learn from them. I don’t pretend to know everything which is why I enjoy working with open-minded people – those who aren’t intimidated to admit they don’t know something and work toward finding an answer.
When I work with people be it in a writing class, as a clairvoyant, or assist in energy clearing, I want to understand what pieces of the puzzle people have and what they perceive is missing. I strive to help people find the pieces that work for them, and if I happen to have some knowledge they can use, then I feel I’ve done a good job. It isn’t my job to push what is right or wrong at people. Holding a neutral space for people to find their own answers is important to me.
Stepping out of duality means we have to stop with the blame game – that someone is right and someone else is wrong, or feeling like we have to attack those different from us, or feeling the need to defend ourselves all the time. When someone goes on the attack toward me, I step back and observe without the need to defend. Shifting our vibration to a higher frequency means we don’t play in the lower vibrations this way.
Everyone creates their reality with their beliefs and perspectives. What one person sees as a delusion, this can be another person’s reality. Only when we come together to communicate without feeling intimidated or lacking can we create a bigger picture as a whole.
In these times, it’s more important than ever to step back and observe our emotional reactions and discover why we feel what we do, especially when it comes to our self-confidence and when we might feel intimidated by others. Working through your emotions and discovering how you feel in your body is one of the keys to ascension.
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Please share your thoughts with me in the comments!
~Kellie
Kellective Creations 
Reblogged this on Legendary Living Arts.
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