Valentine’s Day isn’t something I celebrate much anymore as my partner/husband and I celebrate each other in small ways all the time. This year, we did what we love with the people we loved – taught Qigong class with our long-time and new students. Then we decided to go out to eat at a place close to our home, somewhere we often frequented when we were getting to know each other over a decade ago. It was quiet and not too busy, and gave us the chance to reminisce on how we met, the space we were in at that time, and how much things have changed.
The flowers above represent love brought into our home. Three of my children are in relationships, and as I see their confidence grow, how well they communicate with their significant others – there is so much growth that my partner and I gave ourselves a pat on the back.
Over the years, together we have worked on our communication as a family. My children became comfortable with their step-dad, and learned how loving and kind he was. While that might seem weird to say, when you’ve grown up watching your parents communicate in a non-healthy way, and then watch your dad in another destructive relationship, trust is hard to earn. But my partner was patient and loving in a way that allowed their relationship with him to flourish. As a result of seeing how well he and I get along, my kids could – and have – reframed relationships for themselves in a way that is healthy, loving, and nurturing.
It also helped me let go of residual anger I had unknowingly held in my body for their father’s absence in their lives. I had more gratitude for his lack of presence at times because it allowed my kids to be influenced by another male father figure in a warm and loving way. For a long time, I’d wished things were different. Today, I’ve come to a deeper place of acceptance that if things had been different, the outcome would have been different also, and we are all in a great place in the present moment.
This can happen on our healing journey. Sometimes anger or sadness serves a purpose. It allows us to feel deeply into a situation. It allows time to mourn for what we thought we would have and then did not. We can stay in this place emotionally until we are ready to reframe the situation. This only happens with time, patience with yourself, and the willingness to see a situation from a new perspective. Then deeper healing happens within your physical and emotional bodies.
Hindsight is tricky – it’s always harder to reframe a situation while you’re in the thick of it. Perhaps that’s the point. If we reframed it right away, we would be emotionally and/or spiritually bypassing ourselves about what we are feeling in that moment. Allowing ourselves to feel something, and releasing it later is what brings us closer to our divine natures. Sometimes you can’t see the light until you’ve walked through the darkness.
This week on the podcast, we welcomed Alenna Mark – another presenter at the Of Earth & Fire Women’s Festival being held in Manitoba July 26-28th.
Alenna loves connecting with nature, exploring with her cat Raisin, and building strong & healthy communities. With a bachelor of education and as a Forest School practitioner, she’s also done extensive training with the Emotional Literacy Movement to bring emotional awareness to the world. One of her passions is encouraging people to explore their artistic expressions which is the driving force behind her workshop this summer.
Kellective Creations 