(And I’ll Cry If I Want to…)
The other day, my oldest son asked me how I felt about my youngest (his little brother) graduating from high school this year. I looked at him and burst into tears, trying to joke about how I didn’t want to talk about it. (Of course we did…)
Tomorrow is my youngest son’s 18th birthday. Today is his oldest sister’s birthday, and she turns 26. Hard to believe sometimes. One day, you’re in the thick of changing diapers, and trying to keep everyone clean and fed, running to and from activities, and the next – they’re grown up with lives of their own. And while I know they will always need me in some fashion, it is nice and very weird to have more time on my hands.
In the past few months, 3 of them have entered relationships. It’s wonderful to see them blossom and grow, gaining more confidence in who they are and their abilities. It’s wonderful to see all of them following their dreams, and equally wonderful to see their friendship with their siblings, and my growing relationship with them as they become young adults.
I have always viewed motherhood as the ultimate job – one in which I strove my best to give them the emotional tools they’d need to be responsible adults. I love my relationships with each one of them, and as they transition into another chapter of their lives, I must do the same. I didn’t want to do just any old job because I already had the best one – helping them grow, learn, and love life. They were the ones who encouraged me to expand to helping others to do the same, so I decided to take their sage advice and go back to school.
Studying hypnotherapy, has been fantastic for me, both professionally and personally. I have a fantastic instructor and the experience has been healing for me on a deep level as well. I’m excited to begin a new career as a certified hypnotherapist, and it pairs well with the energy work and Qigong classes I teach. There have been days when I’ve had to purge old beliefs – ones I didn’t know I carried – about my abilities in order to work through fear about moving forward with my own brand new life chapter. My classmates are fantastic people, and we all encourage each other on this new journey. I’ve even reclaimed lost parts of myself and had the courage to talk about personal things I haven’t made public. This safe space for me to grow is what I needed, and I’m glad to have found it.
While I’m still writing – I have a partial romance finished, and two non-fiction in the works – I’ve learned to take my time and savour the moment. I don’t want to rush to write anymore just because it’s what someone else told me I needed to do to further my writing career. I love writing and won’t stop blogging, or writing books, but I also love helping people, and I can’t wait to unveil my new website for hypnotherapy services.
Throughout my children’s childhoods, I wanted to be an example of what it’s like to try new things, shoot for the stars, and to be happy with one’s endeavours. I got to show them that if you put your mind to it, you can do anything, and I’ve done many things. Being a multi-published author, a voice actor, Qigong instructor, conference attendee and presenter, and so much more – I couldn’t have imagined these things when I was their age. But eventually I did, and made them a reality. And my kids have turned into the kind of people who not only go for their dreams, but encourage others – especially me – to keep dreaming and keep building.
So, this weekend, I’ll have their cake and eat it too. And maybe cry a little because, well, they’re not so little anymore…
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