Part 1
Last weekend, I attended the Of Earth and Fire Women’s Festival where I facilitated a workshop on Parenting for Individuation. I feel it’s an important topic to discuss because a lot of parents aren’t comfortable with, never mind knowing how to, have their children individuate from them.
From the time our children are born, most of us as parents would do anything for them. We raise them the best we can, we are constantly figuring out how to have the balance of caring and support along with discipline and routine. And discipline here doesn’t mean punishment. You can raise your kids without punishing them when you have the lines of communication wide open not only with yourself, but with them too.
While I’ve only been a parent for 26 years, I have learned a lot of what worked for me and what didn’t. I’m not here to tell you how to raise your kids because that is something you need to work out for yourself. You need to decide what is and what isn’t important for you, and this may be different than other parents which is okay because every family situation is different. Each person values different things, and that’s the way it’s supposed to be. Acceptance of this will help you feel more confident as a parent, and will assist you to stop comparing yourself to other parents and what they’re doing, and allow you the grace to do what you feel is best for you and your family.
What I will share is how to allow your children to individuate and become their own separate person, complete with their own belief structures and perspectives that could be somewhat different than your own.
The very idea that our kids will think and act differently than we do can send parents into a tailspin. It can be easier to tell them to “do what I say”, because this is easier. It takes more energy to have honest and open discussions with your kids on a regular basis. If this is important to you then this article series will be for you, and if more conscious parenting isn’t for you, then you’ll likely dismiss what I’m sharing altogether.
Either way, remembering that your child isn’t you will be important to keep at the forefront of your mind every step of the parenting journey. On a soul level, you and your child have a contract and even if you don’t recall the details of that contract, it’s important to keep in mind that they may not have journeyed here to Earth to be your “mini-Me”. Just like you, they are here to learn and experiment with life, so being the best example of that you can be is a good start.
Some questions to ask yourself:
Where can I bring more joy into my life? How can I be an example of what my values truly are? Am I willing to questions my own values and beliefs in order to be the highest version of myself? How can I encourage my children to question what they see and feel? Am I willing to do the same? What behaviour patterns do I not want to repeat from my own childhood experience?
As I go through the series, there will be various topics I’ll discuss, so I hope you’ll join me for the journey.
~Kellie
Kellective Creations 