Hubby and I went to see The Fall Guy in theatres this past week. If you enjoy action, a bit of romance, and comedy then this movie is for you!
What I really loved about the movie is the way they portrayed the relationship between the main characters. In one scene, the hero is crying as memories of his past relationship with her flash before his eyes. Due to trauma, he knows he didn’t communicate well and may have well lost someone he loved dearly. The heroine comes up, sees him crying, but doesn’t berate him, and when she asks, he doesn’t deny he was emotional. In fact, they continue their conversation while tears remain on his face. There’s no stoic male crap of brushing his tears away, and pretending he’s okay which has been foisted upon us in books and movies for far too long now.
As the scene plays on, he allows her to talk and vent her feelings. He can’t seem to find the words yet, so he allows her the grace to say what she wants to say. When she’s finished, she doesn’t push him to respond. She doesn’t force him to be responsible for her feelings either. While she wants to discuss things, she doesn’t get mad that he’s not ready to do that. Be still my beating heart!
How many times in cinema, books, or in real life do people expect others to be responsible for how they feel? All too often. Bad behaviour is often romanticized to the point where we take on the responsibility for fixing how another feels because they feel entitled to their feelings.
Well, let’s all wake up a bit, shall we? It’s not romantic to force anyone to be emotionally responsible for you. We’ve seen it in real life too many times – someone is rejected, they can’t handle it, and then they stalk someone, berate them, or belittle them, all in the name of making themselves feel better. I mean, remember when the romance genre was filled with heroines being kidnapped and whisked away to start a new life with her kidnapper? Please put this in modern context – this is not okay, creepy as fuck, and should not be romanticized any longer.
Let’s outline what isn’t romantic:
It’s not romantic for one person in a relationship to feel more entitled to their feelings and try to force someone in a relationship to see their side of things instead of trying to understand theirs. It’s not romantic to pretend you don’t have feelings. It’s not romantic to hold back until you explode in anger.
And let’s face it – it’s not romantic to be stalked. I’ve been stalked online and in-person and it’s not conducive to feeling safe. And I’ve been there when I thought someone’s jealousy was romantic only to have it end badly.
We need to stop romanticizing bad behaviour on the parts of both men and women. One isn’t more entitled to their feelings than another. It’s time for all of us to grow up and own our feelings and realize that no one else is responsible for how we feel. And while women have often been told to shut up and sit down, we cannot do that to men and expect to find any sort of emotional equality in relationships.
It was wonderful to watch a movie where they allowed each other to open up in their own time. One person in a relationship is invariably more of a talker than the other. The trick is to allow each person the space to communicate at their comfort level and when they’re ready – not because someone wants to resolve it immediately in order to feel better. And contrary to popular opinion, creating conflict and then resolving it does not draw people closer together. If you’re creating drama all the time just to feel closer to someone, you need to examine your belief systems and fast.
And for those who feel that participating in such activities as watching Hollywood movies isn’t “spiritual” – please get off your fluffy high horse. The more emotionally responsible you become, you can learn as much about shadow and ego from some “mainstream” books and movies as you can from watching, oh say Gaia TV. There’s isn’t anything wrong with either but when you only focus on “love and Light” you’re missing an opportunity to understand what the collective shadow is up to, how you can see it in yourself, and how you can transmute it not only for yourself but for humanity. You’re only programmed when you’re unaware of being programmed. Plus, you know which factions are putting out disclosures. There were a couple of nuggets in this one if you know what to listen for.
Kudos to the director, actors, and producers, cast and crew of this movie for putting this out there. As someone who has been part of casts and crew on film sets, it was a nice trip down memory lane. And to see a male portrayed as strong (seriously Ryan Gosling was ripped) emotionally and physically, a little flawed, but willing to work on things was a freaking breath of fresh air as was the female lead (Emily Blunt) – strong, emotionally responsible, and kickass in her own right. Romance authors and script writers everywhere take note.
Kellective Creations 